Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
