OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
