C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
