It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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