she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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