Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
