i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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