all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
