walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
