Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Small penises have feelings too.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize