I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
