Pappa wants mamma naked
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
