Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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