is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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