Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
