what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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