So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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