Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
