Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
