I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize