the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
