my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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