so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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