i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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