We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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