thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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