Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
