I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm jealous of your bromance
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
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JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
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I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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