i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can I color on your dick again?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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