it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
