After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
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do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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