Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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