k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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