apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She has the best kind of daddy issues
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My dad is sitting where you rode me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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