Sry I called you an 8
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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