I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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