it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
