Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
