My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
