census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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