I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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