he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
