Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize