so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize