Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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