can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just invented taco cereal.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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