I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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