it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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