all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
