Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
