so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
should my penis look like a turkey
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
