I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
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Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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