Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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