Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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