Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
