When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
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I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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