we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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