You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.