She said her name was "party"
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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