Where is the hickey?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
